Guidelines For The Family And Business- Colossians 3:18-4:1

Guidelines For The Family And Business- Colossians 3:18-4:1

INTRODUCTION

1. The theme throughout the Book of Colossians is that Jesus Christ is our “All-Sufficient And Preeminent Savior” - cf. Co 1:16-18; Co 2:3,9-10

2. As a demonstration of Jesus as our “all-sufficient” Savior, we now find His apostle Paul giving guidelines by which we can successfully conduct our family and business matters! - Co 3:18-4:1

3. This passage illustrates that the “preeminence” of Christ reaches even to the secular concerns of our lives

[Beginning with verse 18, let’s examine some of these guidelines Christ has given us...]

I. WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS (18)

A. DEFINING THE WORD “SUBMIT”...
1. The Greek word is hupotasso {hoop-ot-as’-so}

2. It means to...
a. arrange under, to subordinate
b. subject, put in subjection
c. subject one’s self, obey
d. submit to one’s control
e. yield to one’s admonition or advice
f. obey, be subject

3. Thus, wives are to be in submission to their husbands, “as to the Lord” (Ep 5:22)

B. THIS IS SAID TO BE “FITTING IN THE LORD”...
1. The word “fitting”...
a. Grk., aneko {an-ay’-ko}
b. To pertain to what is due, duty, as was fitting

2. To be willing to submit to another is certainly in keeping with Jesus’ own teaching and example - Mt 20:25-28

3. It is also in keeping with what is expected of all Christians...
a. We are to submit to one another - Ep 5:21
b. We are to submit those who rule over us in the faith - He 13:17
c. We are to submit to the ordinances of government - 1 Pe 2:13-15
d. Christian servants were to submit to their masters - 1 Pe 2:18
e. Younger Christians are to submit to the elders, and to one another as well, even as we submit to God - 1 Pe 5:5-7

C. IF WIVES DO NOT SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS...
1. They may never win their unbelieving husbands to Christ - cf. 1 Pe 3:1-2

2. God will not be gracious to them - cf. 1 Pe 5:5

3. There is even a possibility that it may have a strong bearing on the sexual orientation of the children!
a. A study by Dr. Irving Bieber was made of the family background of 106 male
homosexuals (cf. “What Everyone Should Know About Homosexuality”, LaHaye, p.
71-72)
b. Dr. Bieber found that:
1) 81 mothers were dominating
2) 62 of the mothers were overprotective
3) 66 mothers made the homosexual their favorite child
4) 82 of the fathers spent very little time with their sons
5) 79 fathers maintained a detached attitude toward them
c. The more “modern” man learns through tested research, the more we begin to realize
that Jesus and His Word were right all along!
1) Whatever the subject, Christ certainly knows best
2) And He should...remember, He’s the Creator of all things!

[And now, for an often much needed word to the husbands...]

II. HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES (19)

A. PAUL EXPANDS UPON THIS THEME IN HIS LETTER TO THE EPHESIANS...
1. Our role model is Christ, and His love for the Church - Ep 5:25-27
a. Husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church
b. I.e., with a sacrificial love

2. Another example is the kind of love we have for our own bodies - Ep 5:28-29
a. Just as one “nourishes” and “cherishes” his own body, so he should his wife
1) The word “nourish” comes from ektrepho {ek-tref’-o}, and means...
a) to nourish up to maturity, to nourish
b) to nurture, bring up
2) The word “cherish” is from thalpo {thal’-po}, meaning...
a) to warm, keep warm
b) to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care
b. Again, this is how Christ loves the Church!

B. THIS LOVE INCLUDES BEING FREE FROM “BITTERNESS”...
1. “and do not be bitter toward them” - Co 3:19
a. The Greek word for “bitter” is pikraino {pik-rah’-ee-no}
b. It means...
1) to produce a bitter taste in the stomach
2) to embitter; exasperate
3) render angry, indignant
4) to be embittered, irritated
5) to visit with bitterness, to grieve (deal bitterly with)

2. Peter gives us some insight as to why it is important not to be “bitter toward them” - cf. 1 Pe 3:7
a. They are the more delicate partner in the relationship (“a weaker vessel”)
1) Capable of providing the motherly tenderness and sensitivity crucial in the early
development of children
2) Bitterness will make the wife (mother) coarse and resentful, contributing to the
environment of a “dysfunctional” family
b. They are “heirs together of the grace of life”
1) In Christ, they are not just wives, they are “sisters in Christ”
2) Therefore, worthy of love and honor, not bitterness!
c. How we treat them determines the efficacy of our prayers (“that your prayers may not be hindered”)!

[When husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and are not bitter toward them, it is much easier for wives to be submissive to their husbands. Since husbands are to be the “leader” in the family, then let them show leadership by fulfilling their responsibility! I dare say that the wives will then gladly follow, and the family (with our society) will benefit. Speaking of the family, what about the children?]

III. CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS (20)

A. THE VALUE OF SUCH OBEDIENCE...
1. It is well-pleasing to the Lord (it is certainly what He did - Lk 2:51-52)
2. It contains an important promise - cf. Ep 6:1-3

B. THE SERIOUSNESS OF REBELLIOUSNESS...
1. Consider how God viewed lack of obedience in the Old Testament...
a. On par with witchcraft and idolatry! - 1 Sam 15:22-23
b. The punishment in some cases for rebellious children was death! - Deu 21:18-21

2. Therefore, rebelliousness is not to be taken lightly by parents...
a. It is not “just a stage they go through” (for some never leave it)
b. It is a serious problem that should concern us
c. It is a problem that requires much prayer for the wisdom to bring the child out of it!

[What can help the children to escape the sin of rebellion is if their fathers take to heart what is said to them...]

IV. FATHERS, DON’T PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN (21)

A. FATHERS HAVE AN AWESOME RESPONSIBILITY...
1. They are to be understanding and compassionate, yet firm
a. Joshua was strong in his resolve for his family to serve the Lord - Josh 24:14-15
b. Eli, however, was condemned because of his failure to restrain his sons - 1 Sam 3:
11-14

2. They thus have the responsibility to provide spiritual training for their children - Ep 6:4
a. They do it by their example - the following quotes are taken from “The Father -
God’s Representative In The Family”, printed in Pulpit Helps
1) “A child tends to look upon the Heavenly Father as he does his earthly father. If his earthly father is kind, loving, just, forgiving and good, a child will perceive of God as the same. If, on the other hand, his earthly father is cruel, unloving, unkind, the child will perceive the heavenly Father in the same manner.”
2) “Generally speaking, the concept which all people have of God is the concept each
has of his father. Such is extremely difficult to erase. It is vitally important for a man to live the kind of life, and be the kind of person who is demonstrating to his sons and daughters what God is really like - for the father is God’s representative here on earth. This provides an inestimable privilege, and also a solemn responsibility.”
b. They do it by their instruction (whether it be formal or informal, cf. Deu 6:6-7)

B. HOW CAN FATHERS BE GUILTY OF PROVOKING THEIR CHILDREN...?
1. By being unfair in their discipline
a. Punishing without fair warning
b. Showing favoritism in the exercise of discipline

2. By being hypocritical in our teaching and example
a. “Do as I say, not as I do” has no place in the vocabulary of Christian fathers
b. Not only does hypocrisy provoke children to wrath, it often is the underlying reason why children leave the faith!

[As a father who is still involved in raising children, I know all this does not come easy. But with the help of God we can apply these admonitions of the apostle of our Lord. The remaining admonitions would have fallen under guidelines for the family in the First Century (A.D.), since most Christians would have either been slaves in another family or had some slaves in their own family. Today, however, I believe that we can still apply these verses to our business relationships...]

V. SERVANTS (EMPLOYEES), OBEY YOUR MASTERS (EMPLOYERS) (22-25)

A. THE MANNER OF OBEDIENCE IS CLEARLY DEFINED... (22-23)
1. “in ALL things” (except that which would violate God’s Will, of course - Ac 5:29)

2. Not with “eye-service”
a. Grk., ophthalmodouleia {of-thal-mod-oo-li’-ah}
b. Service performed [only] under the master’s eyes
1) For the master’s eye usually stimulates to greater diligence
2) His absence, on the other hand, renders a sluggish response

3. Not as “men-pleasers”
a. Grk., anthropareskos {anth-ro-par’-es-kos}
b. Studying to please man, courting the favor of men

4. But in “sincerity of heart”
a. “sincerity” (singleness, KJV) comes from haplotes {hap-lot’-ace}
b. As used here, it means:
1) Singleness, simplicity, sincerity, mental honesty
2) The virtue of one who is free from pretense and hypocrisy
3) Not self seeking, openness of heart manifesting itself by generosity

5. And “fearing God”
a. The word “fear” is from phobeo {fob-eh’-o}
b. In reference to God, it means “to reverence, venerate, to treat with deference or
reverential obedience”
c. It is God whom we should be concerned is watching, not man!

6. We are to do our work “heartily, as to the Lord and not to men”
a. “heartily” is from psuche {psoo-khay’}
b. Which here likely refers to “the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, aversions (our heart, soul etc.)”
c. I.e., We are to “put our heart into our work”
d. Just as we would if was the Lord we were working for, for in reality, that is actually who we are serving!

B. THE LORD WILL JUDGE OUR SERVICE... (24-25)
1. It is the Lord Jesus Christ we serve, who has the ability to provide our inheritance

2. But the one who does wrong in his service to his master (employer) will be repaid wrong!

3. No partiality will be shown in rendering judgment for wrongdoing!
a. Being a slave is no excuse for slack service
b. Nor is being a Christian!

4. Even if our masters (employers) are abusive, we are to do what is right! - 1 Pe 2:18-25

[And now, to those on the other end...]

VI. MASTERS (EMPLOYERS, SUPERVISORS), BE JUST AND FAIR (4:1)

A. YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO ABUSE THOSE UNDER YOU...
1. You are to be “just”
a. Grk., dikaios {dik’-ah-yos}
b. As used here, it involves “rendering to each his due and that in a judicial sense, passing just judgment on others, whether expressed in words or shown by the manner of dealing with them”

2. You are to be “fair” (equal, KJV)
a. Grk., isotes {ee-sot’-ace}
b. It means to show “equity, fairness, what is equitable”

3. In Ep 6:9, we see that masters are to...
a. “do the same thing to them (slaves)” (i.e., with good will doing service, as to the Lord)
b. “giving up threatening”

4. In other words, apply the “Golden Rule” - Mt 7:12

B. YOU ALSO HAVE A MASTER...!
1. As a motive to be just and fair, a reminder that even masters have a Master in heaven

2. Again in Ep 6:9, the point is made that there is no partiality with your Master
a. Being a master (employer) does not give you any special privileges in His sight
b. Nor being a Christian, if you are unfair and unjust to those under you!

3. So if you want your Master to be just and fair with you, then let Him be your role model for how you deal with those under your responsibility!

CONCLUSION

1. In Co 2:3 it is said of Christ: “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”
a. The wisdom and knowledge that comes from Christ reaches to the relevant needs that we face today, no matter how secular or mundane
b. Clearly the passage we have examined illustrates this fact!

2. And so with Christ as our Lord, we are truly complete: “And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” - CO 2:10

3. Imagine how complete our families, our workplaces, would be if all followed the “Guidelines For The Family And Business” as revealed by the apostle Paul...
a. Families living together in love and harmony!
b. Workplaces filled with considerate, productive people!

4. We may not be able to change society totally
a. But at least we can start with ourselves
b. And provide a demonstration of the wisdom of Christ in our own lives
Are you doing what you can to “prove (demonstrate) what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God”? - cf. Ro 12:2